I have an exam today. In about 45 mins as a matter of fact.
It is Issues of Canadian Musical Heritage. I am simply enthralled.
The class was relatively boring the whole year through. There were some main themes such as ‘Is there a Canadian Identiy in music? What is it?’
As well as issues of education, music-landscape relations, and other things.

I am not entirely prepared for this essay, and that is a shame because I really don’t care. I should care more about these things, I think.

My exams have gone rather well for the most part and I think I will be satisfied with my marks at the end of this year, even though Im pretty sure I am going to fall just short of an A- average, which means I will fall just short of getting my scholarship back for my last year of studies. Oh well. I have more important fish to fry… Jazz on!

Don’t tell your friends what you really think about them.

It seems unless you’re praising them, as much as you praise them and offer positive thoughts at the appropriate times, your friends don’t want to hear what you have to say.

I’ll tell you that was a good job. I’ll thank you for all your help and wonderful ideas. I’ll tell everyone else I know about your positive qualities and introduce you to new people who share similar interests.

If I notice these things I will invariably notice their polar opposites. If you’re a liar or a jerk or a slacker or a poor time manager, I will see these things. And most significantly if these things affect my life, you’re going to hear about them.

You’re my friend. I can’t fire you. There are too many good times.
You’re my friend. I can’t stand by and watch the same bad judgements repeat themselves and cause harm to your mind and body.

I have countless conversations with everybody about everybody else and how we all have self-destructive habits. To think that you haven’t been a focus of one of these conversations between two friends who know you in some ways perhaps better than you know yourself.

It’s not like you aren’t aware of these things already, most of the time.
It seems people don’t want to hear what they already know. As if as long as everyone else pretends not to notice, then maybe it’s like my issues aren’t there at all. I can bury them under layers of neglect where they can manifest themselves as illness and unaccomplishment.

In light of this, I invite anybody who reads this to tell me exactly what you don’t like about my ways, other than of course the fact that I might tell you the same.

Peace.

tok.

I find it hard to come to terms with time. There is a spider on a wall of my bedroom near the ceiling, just by the closet. Earlier today I saw her across the room and not a year ago I killed one in nearly the same place she sits now.

I chose, this evening, to forgo repeating the past and let the creature live. Perhaps it will haunt my dreams. Perhaps I will consume it in my sleep. It means me no harm; I mean you no harm.

I find it hard to come to terms with subjectivity. My forearms seem rather robust. Perhaps it is because of years of drumming and developing the muscles. Perhaps it is because of years of focus.
Like a magnifying glass resizing light, perception/experience/reality resizes the universe.

All for one and one for all. My forearm is your self-awareness; focus.

I currently have no desire to express myself via this outlet. My current thoughts are many however I dont’ believe they are considered ‘normal stuff’, like new handbags and composition ideas, and there are few I feel worth sharing these ideas with.

I want to talk to you but right now I don’t know how.

Traces of my mind on the internet is no place to begin.

I will return to blogland when
I will return to blogfill then.

I think today is Easter. It’s a Sunday, and that means family dinner whether it’s actually tomorrow, or whatever part of Easter is the feasting part. I am moved to study some religion. Maybe I can fit in a philosophy of religion as part of my minor to get at least a taste of it, while still fulfilling those wonderful ‘requirements’ of going to school. It’s not enough to pay thousands and pass courses. Beyond that you need to be sure that you take just enough of those ‘not really my thing but necessary according to an ancient admin policy’ courses that you are somehow more justified in being granted a degree than someone else, who would actually have a much greater breadth of knokwledge and therefore better Easter dinner meal conversation than you. Thought it is possible that I may just take all one focus if not for mandatory courses, and so thanks University, for whatever it is that you do for me.

I am glad my composition portfolio is finally handed in. Besides having almost lost it on campus, the day I went to hand it in, it is quite a relief to have handed in and I feel instantly inspired to write again, now that certain confines have been lifted.
While driving, listening to some music on random, I heard a song that I wrote with fruityloops some years ago. You can hear it [here] if you’d like. Im thinking of transcribing it and arranging it for vibraphone, electric guitar, drumset and string quartet. I like summer projects…
Otherwise, back to hackin’ the old acoustic guitar and hopefully developing more drum skills until Summer courses start mid-May.
Anybody lookin’ for some background music at their local pub? Recommend me!

This post was written in response to a request, so I hope it didn’t bore anyone to tears. More inner thoughts as experience provides…

From::
thoughtmechanics.com/a-new-target-a-new-legacy/

“A government consultant with close ties to the civilian leadership in the Pentagon said that Bush was ‘absolutely convinced that Iran is going to get the bomb’ if it is not stopped. He said that the President believes that he must do ‘what no Democrat or Republican, if elected in the future, would have the courage to do,’ and ‘that saving Iran is going to be his legacy.’” -Hersh, The New Yorker

The president has already denied all of this and called the article nothing but “pure wild conjecture.” However, I’d have an easier time believing a box labled “not Bush” before believing anything out of his mouth (and apparently, so would most people). It’s too bad to, because if Iran really is trying to develop nuclear weapons, no one is going to believe this administration. Bush and company have done irreversible damage to the trust that this nation, and the world, had in the United States.

Of course, in 2002 the president also denied that he was going to attack Iraq before he uh… did. I suppose any news articles that came out back then to the contrary were just wild speculation as well. It’s funny how wild speculation can turn into 2,354 dead and 17 thousand wounded.

Of course, in 2002 the president also denied that he was going to attack Iraq before he uh… did. I suppose any news articles that came out back then to the contrary were just wild speculation as well. It’s funny how wild speculation can turn into 2,354 dead and 17 thousand wounded.

-Theron Parlin

blog april 6

Refreshing. Thirst quenching. I’d like to take a swim in that puddle of grass water.

Music is home
I didn’t play enough today. The best times occurred as minds engaged instruments of aural archery, in some form of a team sense; Improvisation as a ride.

Alex broke his majestic double bass today. For the first time ever, he brought on tour both electric and upright. The balance of two guitars in a vertical position proved to be too great a feat and upon his return from briefly leaving the duo unattended after our first concert of three, Alex was faced with a man down- a bass with a punctured top (the neck went through the body!). What to do for the next 2 gigs other than electric bass all the way? Good luck.
And our gig Saturday night!
…too be continued

Other than that, this trip has been great and everything’s looking forward (in a metaphorical ‘what the hell is forward’, sense).

The Sky isn’t the same here. Perhaps the same sky but a different vantage point. Easily, we are always perceiving from distinct focal origins or directions of consent. Regardless, I looked up to the night and felt that for many reasons what I was seeing was not what I was used to and this feeling refreshed me.

I find myself at a cross-roads. I often do, and so this should be no big surprise. Some (like me, woo) would even argue that every possible moment of existence is an intersection of infinite cross-roads and every decision we make directs us towards some possibilities and always away from others. I suppose it just so happens that I am writing about this particular junction today, and so one may afford it greater or lesser significance according to one’s desire for absolute or relativism (not that I have a reason, but I feel like there should be something in [brackets] here).

I am liquid. I am far from sturdy in my ways, but not quite to that gaseous point of dissipating into space. My surroundings define me it seems. Surrounded by music, a protective mother, and a relaxed yet meticulous father, I have burgeoned into an aspiring musician not yet developed to maturity and seriously picky about too many things. These are of course simply the obvious ideas. There are plenty more complexes I have and one need only spend an afternoon with me to pick most of them out. My friends are great. I feel they are intelligent beings and have the right ideas about life and what directions to take given their own cross-roads. And this is where the all-to-circular philosophy of which I have not enough knowledge to answer comes into question.

I think my friends are great friends. I bet you (and by you I mean, somebody’s gotta be reading this shit right?) do too of your own friends. But could that not be greatly because of the shape your liquid self is in, on account of the surroundings which provide the mould for you to settle in? I foresee this debate drawing towards a question of where do you draw the line: Those of us who might argue that they are more solid than liquid, and that they do not form to moulds but rather, like a mighty glacier carve their path through the rock. But you do not move all obstacles as though they were sand castles. You cannot fly. You do not know 100 languages, nor can move mountains. These are moulds within which you work. How about some more realistic examples:

You do not control politics! You do not control your country’s foreign policy! You do not control taxes! You Must pay taxes… you do and you always will! Break that mould! It’s not even physical and yet it is existent.
As an aside, if you wish to comment, please refrain from attacking my examples. Yes taxes do a great load of good, and so perhaps we don’t want to break that mould. If that is your position than you are probably also smart enough to think up some examples of moulds that you Would like to break, but simply can’t. Use those instead.

Anyways- I like pop-rock. I like well produced music of any sort really (as long as there’s no screaming). I like cola and fast-food (except mcdonalds) and laptops and bigscreen television. I like going to movies and I like smoking dope.
But how much of these likes are necessary, or …. I mean… who decides what I like? How much of it has been decided by centuries of evolution?

I sit here, complexly moulded by my life experiences through friends, foes, and acts of nature and my inherent reaction to all of this. What do I want to do with my life?

Pursue my passion: Become the best musician I possibly can. Play as much as I can. Travel as much as I can. Almost seems hedonistic.

Pursue a higher good: Travel and teach. Knowledge for others is more powerful than knowledge for yourself perhaps. Even if I do not prove myself to be the next Einstein, if I could enrich just one person who might make something of themselves or raise their own family of Einsteins because of my impressions that would truly be something.

In 2007 I will graduate from Carleton University with a Bachelor of Music Honors and a minor in Philosophy.
Do I stay in Ottawa?
Do I move to another city?
Do I move to another country?
Do I continue the musician life? Do I take on Easel more seriously? Do I teach overseas and provide others with what I so taken for granted all these years?
How do I feel satisfied by only one of these…

This entry has certainly left me with more unknown than solved.
There is no question: I am greatful for my life.